Writing a Thesis Statement about a Social Issue

Narrow your large topic to a topic-within-the-topic.
(The narrowed topic should be something you care about deeply, something you want to understand more fully, and something you want to present an opinion on.)

Then make a clear, insightful, meaningful, debatable, supportable claim (also called a thesis, an assertion, a statement) about the topic.
(In other words state a carefully thought out opinion you have about the topic that you could support with some of the research you've conducted and perhaps some more research you will do.)

Go to Purdue's OWL for more about creating a thesis statement.

Go to Purdue's OWL for more about evaluating and strengthening a thesis statement.

& use this to self/peer assess:

Researched argument thesis

Metacognitive Self-Assessment

What is your topic-within-the-topic? How does the thesis suggest something significant about your topic? Discuss with a peer (or peers).

Our school-wide rubric for writing says that students should write thesis statements that are clear, supportable, debatable, insightful, and meaningful. I want to add that the thesis statements

CLEAR: Presumably, the thesis is clear to you but double check. Try to look at it with new eyes. Imagine you are someone who has not researched the topic and who has not yet thought much about the topic. Is the thesis still clear? Is every word precise? Is the sentence structure logical?

SUPPORTABLE: Could you support the thesis using the research you have already gathered or using research that you think is available with a bit more digging? Discuss with a peer (or peers) the kind of supporting evidence you plan to use to support your thesis.

DEBATABLE: Does the thesis need to be developed, explained, argued for, and supported? (Or is the thesis too obvious or too easily proven?) To test if the thesis is debatable imagine a person disagreeing with your thesis. If that is possible then the thesis is debatable.

INSIGHTFUL: Does the thesis offer an insight into some specific aspect of the larger topic: an idea, an interpretation, an analysis, an evaluation, a diagnosis, a complex definition, a causal relationship, a rebuttal?  (Often times a thesis can be made more debatable, insightful, and meaningful by adding a “because” clause: “Education in America stymies creativity” becomes “Education in America stymies creativity because artificial boundaries between subject areas get in the way of students synthesizing information from different subject areas to create new understandings.”) Discuss with a peer (or peers) what you believe to be the insight in your thesis.

MEANINGFUL: Does the thesis address something about the topic that is vital, crucial, significant, maybe even essential. Explain to a peer why your thesis (your insight, idea, interpretation, analysis) matters!

Give your thesis and this sheet to a peer to get some feedback.   

Peer-Assessment

Is the thesis clear? Restate it in your own words. (Answer here.) Does the thesis need any editing?

Is the thesis supportable? What kind of supporting evidence will you expect to see in the body of the paper? (Answer here.)

Is the thesis debatable, insightful, and meaningful or when you read it do you think “so what”? Explain. (Answer here.)

***

The next step will be taking a look at the sources you and your group members have already gathered, summarized, and evaluated. What there might be useful to you?

& what other sort of support will you need in order to develop your thesis into a convincing argument?

***

Then make a plan.

Researching a Social Issue: Reading Widely, Taking Notes, Creating an Annotated Bibliography

AP English Language and Composition
Engaging Actively in a Social Issue
From Interest to Research to Argument to Participation to Social Change (?)

Earlier we brainstormed and prioritized possible topics. Based on the feedback I got from you and others here is the social issue you will research:


apathy and engagement: young people and social issues (JW, BG, CD)
the influence of technological advances on our culture (JK, YS, AM)
the prevalence and implications of prejudices in our culture (CS, AG)
the prevalence and implications of violence in our culture (HE, DD, IG)
the role, methods, and implications of education in our culture (KQ, KS, KF)

the role, practice, and implications of religious belief in our culture (EM, OP, LM)
the science and implications of genetic engineering in our culture (CO, JD, MJ)
the role, methods, and implications of education in our culture (AD, NB, HW)
the role and implications of prescription and recreational mood altering drugs in our culture (CJ, ZS, SI)
the role and implications of body image and sexuality in our culture (KR, SO, KM) 


First, you and your fellow group members are responsible for finding 21 different sources of information and/or informed opinion about the social issue above. Of that total you are responsible for seven (7) sources.
Of that total at least one source must come from each of the following categories:

• a text accessed through a database subscribed to by the GHS library
• a text accessed through Google books or Google scholar
• a text found on a university, nonprofit, or government website
• a text found in the popular press (magazine or newspaper). This text could be accessed in print form, in electronic form, or (at Sawyer Free Library) in microfilm form
• a text found at the Sawyer Free Library
• a section of a text found using a book’s index
• a recorded lecture (such as a TED talk), recorded interview, or documentary film/video

By Monday, March 25 you will have completed double-entry notes for all of your sources (21 as a group, 7 as an individual).

By Monday, March 25  each group member will have completed a draft of at least one annotated citation, which will be ready for viewing in your group's Google document. Use the links in the right column of this blog for directions and samples of annotated citations.


On Wednesday, March 27 you will submit the final draft of your annotated bibliography*. (You will submit the work as a group, both in print form and using a Google Document. Your individual work will bear your name; you will be assessed on your own work.)

*Use MLA format for heading, citations, format, etc. Remember alphabetical order. Pay attention to spacing. Make sure citations are not only formatted properly but also thorough. Annotations should be 150-200 words in length (not longer); they should provide a summary of the source, an assessment (analysis and evaluation) of the source, and (if not immediately obvious) a discussion of the relevance of the source. Make sure you include your name after the annotations you wrote.

There are many links here on the blog to additional information about taking double-entry notes, writing annotations, and formatting the annotated bibliography. Use the resources that are available to you.

Consumerism and Commodification Synthesis Essay Self and Peer Assessment

Consumerism and Commodification Synthesis Essay Assignment

Consumerism is a term used to describe a social and economic system that encourages the ever-increasing consumption of goods and services. Commodification (or commoditization) is a related term used to describe the process of turning ideas, values, and other entities not normally regarded as a commodity (an economic product) into a commodity. 

Imagine that a school district looking to make its curriculum more relevant to life in the 21^st century has asked to evaluate the role of consumerism and commodification in contemporary American culture. Carefully review the sources I've provided in this unit. Then synthesize information from at least five (5) of the sources and incorporate that information into a coherent, well-developed essay that identifies the key issues associated with consumerism and commodification and that examines their implications for life in the 21^st century.

Make sure that your argument is central; use the sources to illustrate and support your reasoning. Avoid merely summarizing the sources. Indicate clearly which sources you are drawing from, whether through direct quotation, paraphrase, or summary. Cite the sources using the information provided below in parentheses.

Self/Peer Assessment

Introduction. (Engage the reader with a brief but vivid narrative that embodies your response to the prompt. Then transition into bold, insightful assertion clearly stating the key issues and implications associated with consumerism and commodification.)

Is there a vivid, suggest narrative (or other engaging hook) that leads into the rest of the essay? _____   (You might use the opening of the locavore essay as a model.) Give your peer feedback on this opening.

Is there an effective transition between the opening and the thesis? _____  Give your peer feedback on this transition.

Is there a thesis that states key issues and implications associated with consumerism and commodification? _____  This thesis is a bold, insightful, nuanced, precise response to the last line of the second paragraph in the prompt. Give your peer feedback on this thesis.  

In your draft the opening, transition, and thesis should be labeled and annotated. 

Body Paragraphs. (The purpose of a body paragraph is to develop and support a part of the thesis.)

Have you kept all the promises made in your thesis? _____  In other words have you developed each part of the thesis in a particular body paragraph? _____  Have you organized the body paragraphs in a logical order? ______

Mark your draft to show where you’ve developed each part of the thesis. Give your peer feedback.  

Is there a statement at the beginning or near the beginning of each paragraph that indicates exactly what part of the thesis the paragraph will develop? _____  These statements are called “topic sentences” or “mini-theses” or “body points”. In the rest of the paragraph have you developed the idea put forth in your topic sentence/mini-thesis/body point? _____ 

Mark your draft to show the “topic sentences” / “mini-theses” / “body points”. Annotate as necessary.

Give your peer feedback on the topic sentences/mini-theses/body points.  

Within each paragraph you need evidence, details, examples, and direct quotations that support the topic sentence/mini-thesis/body point.

Are all points supported with convincing evidence or are some claims points made but not supported? ______ Are all the details included clearly relevant to the paragraph’s point or are some details present merely to summarize a source (or for no apparent purpose)? _____  Is the supporting evidence specific or general? _____  Is all of the paraphrasing or summarizing in the paragraph accurate?

Is it thorough? Is any significant, relevant evidence neglected)? _____ Are any claims made but not supported or are all claims supported with convincing evidence?  _____  

Is there evidence from more than one source in the paragraph or does the paragraph rely on evidence from only one source? ______

Is it well-integrated into your own sentences or is there an over-reliance on block quoting? _____  Is all of the supporting evidence properly cited? ______

Mark the evidence. Annotate as necessary. Give your peer feedback on the evidence.  

You also need to explain clearly and convincingly how each piece of evidence shows that the character or visual motif contribute to the overall purpose/meaning. Is the explanation clear? _____  Is the explanation focused on supporting the thesis? _____  Is the explanation accurate? _____  Is the explanation well-developed? _____  Is the explanation convincing? _____ 

Mark the explanation. Annotate as necessary.

Give your peer feedback on the explanation.  

Conclusion. (The purpose of the conclusion is to drive home the essay’s main point and to drive home the significance of that point.)

Do you return to the opening narrative or big idea? _____  Have you reasserted your thesis strongly? (Remember your thesis consists of the issues you have identified and the implications of those issues.)  _____ Have you reminded the reader of the major points that support your thesis? Have you given the reader a sense of why your thesis is significant? 

Mark where you see the opening and the thesis in the conclusion. Annotate as necessary.

Give your peer feedback on the conclusion.  

Style. Have you created logical transitions between the paragraphs? _____  Have you used varied sentence structures? _______ Are all sentences clear? _______  Are any sentences repetitive or wordy? _______  Have you used standard and/or formal word choices? ______ Are your word choices precise and vivid? _______

Self: Annotate as necessary.

Peer: Give your peer feedback on the style.  

English Language and Synthesis Essay Writing Conventions. Does the essay have any run-on sentences, incomplete sentences, or homophone errors? _____  _____  _____  Does the essay observe all quotation and citation conventions? ______ Does the letter observe other standard American English conventions, especially the conventions that we studied for the midyear exam? _____ Does the essay follow MLA format? ______ Does the essay cite sources using one of the two parenthetic citation methods accepted by the College Board?


Annotate as necessary.

Give your peer feedback on the use of conventions.  

Finally…

Look over the self and peer assessment, including markings on the first draft, to find areas that need improvement.

Read the essay aloud using a one-foot voice.

Revise and proofread your letter.

A final draft is due Wednesday, March 13, 2013.

During Class on Thursday, March 7

In class on Thursday* you have three options:

1. Use a computer to complete the Malpais assignment on the class website. (Post in the appropriate comment box by class tomorrow.)

2. Use a computer to begin writing a draft of the consumerism and commodification synthesis essay. (A draft is due on Monday, March 11) (Notes: (1) The prompt is on the first page of the packet. (2) Use the maps you made/photographed yesterday to help organize the essay. (3) I encourage you to create a narrative opening, similar to the one in the locavore essay. (4) You must choose one of the two AP synthesis essay methods of citing texts.

1st text (Waterson) or (Source A)

2nd text (Kruger) or (Source B)

3rd text (Rockwell) or (Source C)

4th text (Shah) or (Source D)

5th text (Chaddha) or (Source E)

6th text ("Beyond Consumerism") or (Source F)

7th text (Johnson) or (Source G)

8th text (Seel and Wilensky) or (Source H)

9th text (Banksy) or (Source I)

3. Don’t use a computer and read Brave New World. By Friday (March 8) read and take notes through page 240. Soma revolt!

*Note: F-block will have a guest speaker for the first fifteen (15) minutes of class.

Brave New World: A Visit to Malpais

TONIGHT (TUESDAY, MARCH 5) STUDY FOR TOMORROW'S VOCABULARY QUIZ. REMEMBER TO STUDY THIRTY (30) OF THE VOCABULARY WORDS!
BRING YOUR STUDY CARDS TO CLASS.

***
Also...

Responding to chapter 5 part 3 through chapter 9

Imagine you are an Alpha Plus student from Gloucester, Massachusetts, North America, World State who has spent several days observing rituals and daily life in Malpais, New Mexico in the year 632 A.F. In your travels there you have met John, Linda, Pope, Mitsima, as well as Bernard and Lenina from London. 

Write a blog comment to classmates who are training to do the same job as you. Be sure to describe rituals and daily life. (In other words refer to details from the book.) What values and beliefs can be inferred from the rituals and life there? (Strong responses will compare these to rituals and daily life in the World State.) Be specific. You must quote a Malpais inhabitant at least once. Strong responses will talk about your encounters with and/or observations of some of the characters who appear in these chapters. Be sure to also include personal feelings and ideas about life in Malpais. (You'll need to decide if you're an orthodox or unorthodox Alpha.)

In your response include at least five vocabulary words. WRITE THE VOCABULARY WORDS IN ALL CAPITALS.

Post your response in the comment box below before class on Friday, March 8. (Responses need to be at least 300 words.)